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    3. 搞笑说说文章列表

      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 我肯定会被砍成薯片的。 时间:2017-11-29

        1、蚊子咬你之后真的很气愤,但是更气愤的是,它咬了你,你却找不到它!2、人生最大的悲哀是青春不在,青春痘却还在。3、给我一口油井,我来给地球制造高潮!4、人生有两大悲剧:一个是得不到想要的东西,另一个是得到......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 是狼到哪都吃肉,煞笔到哪都挨揍。 时间:2017-11-29

        1、她今儿敢偷钱明儿就敢偷人,这都一条龙作业的事。2、你永远也看不到我最寂寞时候的样子,因为只有你不在我身边的时候,我才最寂寞3、见到我以后你会突然发现&mdash;&mdash;啊,原来帅也可以这样具体呀!4、别人都......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 毕竟你身边的人太拥挤 而我不是唯一。 时间:2017-09-24

        1、你对我凶神恶煞还指望我对你柔声细语是吗呵妄想。2、不要叫我宅女,请叫我居里夫人!3、穿别人的鞋走自己的路让他们找去吧。4、爱上你的那天,不是因为你有多好,而是因为那天,阳光正好,吃得很饱。5、本不是一个......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 戴上皇冠我就是女王 时间:2017-09-24

        1、到底在坚持什么我也骂自己幼稚至极。2、故事编多了难免入戏太深,失败的是观众从未当真。3、在学校,我明白了困又不能睡的痛苦。4、晚上想想千条路,早上起来走原路。5、小时候最怕的梦是梦到自己在找厕所,最最可......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 不知不觉,又要踏上开学这条不归路了。 时间:2017-09-24

        1、大街上手牵手的人很多,有几个是准备结婚的?2、美女眼前过,不泡是罪过。3、我很穷,我家的佣人也很穷,我家的园丁也很穷,我家的司机也很穷。4、我是著名老中医专治各种吹牛B。5、老兄啊,时间过得可真是快,瞧......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 我的未来不是梦,我的未来是做恶梦 时间:2017-09-24

        1、在职场中就应该像柯南那样,有一种走到哪就让别人死到哪的霸气。2、有一天你不在了我会低沉。3、还没来得及去沾花惹草,就被人拔光了。4、金钱造就了女人、而你造就了我。5、看着你们相濡以沫的幸福,我的心如刀割......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 你不懂我的沉默,又怎懂得我的难过。 时间:2017-09-24

        1、很高兴,又凑够1块5,终于又能上网了!1、我是耶稣他儿子,椰子!2、去去去,别糟蹋青春那两字了,你都已经立秋了。3、有话费的时候你那叫手机,没话费的时候你那手机再好也只不过是一个MP34、我说过做人要低调。可......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 有病不吃药,你这不是有病吗? 时间:2017-08-10

        1、会计说&ldquo;你晚点来领工资吧,我这没零钱。&rdquo;2、本来看广告看得津津有味的&hellip;&hellip;该死!又插播电视剧!3、不懂的最高境界,是两个字:装懂!4、女人的签名:壕莪!升级版:壕莪嫑停!究极进化版:......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 你是星星会发光 我是镜子会反光。 时间:2017-08-09

        1、哥不是百度,不要什么都来问我!2、您硬要活生生把一奥黛丽赫本给打造成了站街妹。3、糖吃太多会得糖尿病喜欢你太过会累。4、元旦到,吃大餐,少喝酒,多吃菜,够不着,站起来,有人敬,耍耍赖,吃不了,兜回来! ......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 如果说上课是催眠药,上网就是提神剂。 时间:2017-08-04

        1、有人说下雨时是老天爷再撒尿,但不知咋的,有时下了3天,是憋得太久?2、你有什么不开心的事?说出来让大家开心一下!3、您教导我们不要说废话,可在我眼里您说的全是废话!4、千万不要相信歌词里说的那些道理。为......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 我不怕喝敌敌畏,就怕畅想:再来一瓶。 时间:2017-08-04

        1、精神失常的疯子不可怕,可怕的是精神正常的疯子!2、你小时候被猪亲过吧3、没钱的时候,在家里吃野菜;有钱的时候,在酒店吃野菜4、世上只有妈妈好,爸爸也不错。5、我不管你的圈子有多大好好跟我说话-......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 有人考试靠实力,有人考试靠视力 时间:2017-07-23

        1、那我就告诉你你xx狗xx2、新时代四大害:丰田车的底盘,开发商的楼盘,股市的大盘,前男友的硬盘3、用iphone的人都有个共同点:就是不好意思说不好用。4、别以为女孩靠漂亮就可以让我动心,至少她还要够愚蠢!5、只......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 二是一种不三不四的美。 时间:2017-07-22

        1、上课盼下课上学盼放假爷的目标一直很执着2、北大非我不嫁,我非清华不娶。3、我跟伍佰不熟,他弟弟二百五跟我很熟。经典语句4、时间就像一张网,你撒在哪里,收获就在哪里。5、偷偷告诉你们个秘密,班主任又大姨妈......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 雀式纸尿裤,尿床第一步 时间:2017-07-21

        1、原来,我们最大的情敌,不是小三。是岁月。2、我不怕喝敌敌畏,就怕畅想:再来一瓶。3、它总是将你的心搔地蠢蠢欲动,想更上一层楼,却又怕登高畏寒,失足成恨。4、会计说&ldquo;你晚点来领工资吧,我这没零钱。&......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 理想很丰满,现实却很骨干。 时间:2017-07-19

        1、我不美我不高我成绩不好我不优秀我很穷哈哈都没事我还年轻时间会让我改变我的未来会发光。2、虽然你身上喷了古龙水,但我还是隐约能闻到一股人渣味。3、人一简单就快了,一世故就变老4、网上自古无娇娘,残花败柳......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 别说我很高傲只昰我拒绝与禽兽打交道! 时间:2017-07-18

        1、要适当吃一点,才有劲减肥啊。2、有话费的时候你那叫手机,没话费的时候你那手机再好也只不过是一个MP33、这种闲着没事干儿的滋味,比穷困潦倒更不好受。4、那些令我歇斯底里的感动,总是电影里别人的故事5、人变......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 你都不回头怎么知道我在你身后。 时间:2017-07-17

        1、姐妹之间吵架好玩吗心酸吗寒心吗失望吗最后问你一句你开心吗。2、有心娶妻,无心恋爱。3、除了闹钟…就数你最讨厌4、工作的最高境界就是看着别人上班,领着别人的工资。5、忍你一时之流氓还我明辉煌......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 云想衣裳花想容,猪想发福人想红。 时间:2017-07-16

        1、偷偷告诉你们个秘密,班主任又大姨妈了。2、光你觉得天使们都停在你的肩膀上,别人看见的就是光芒万丈3、分手了,废话少一点4、牙疼去医院,年轻医生拿着工具在我嘴里捣来捣去,期间一直眉头紧皱,最后摇摇头叹口气......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 冲杯三鹿给下XX喝。 时间:2017-07-15

        1、我和妻子已经18个月没说话了,我没机会打断她。2、我想说我就一苦逼,世界末的那天就是我的生。3、假如一个人不做超越能力的攀登那么天空的存在又有什么意义4、如果你们要旧情复燃,请先告诉我,让我优雅退场5、笑......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 别人生日都吃长寿面我生日却吃挂面 时间:2017-07-14

        1、不要傻傻的再去相信什么童话,现实不同于幻想2、每个人出生的时候都是原创的,可悲的是,很多人渐渐都成了盗版!3、热情对错了人感觉干什么都是自作多情4、都说人生如戏,戏如人生,那干脆唱戏去嘞~5、本来看广告......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 生子当如孙仲谋,找爹就找金日成。 时间:2017-07-13

        1、爸妈帮你把压岁钱存在银行的。上过当的孩子举个手2、嫁人要嫁灰太狼,老爸必须是李刚3、不要以为我很快乐╭只是我的伤痛你们不懂得.4、扔硬币,正面去上网,反面去睡觉,立起来去上课。5、长这么圆跟足球一样。......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 别拿我的忍耐当作您拖堂的赌本! 时间:2017-07-12

        1、有些偶像剧特别纯粹,真是一丁点演技都没有。2、&ldquo;如果我哪天游泳溺水了该怎么办?&rdquo;&ldquo;想让我亲你直说。3、我,一个大学生的人生奋斗目标:农妇,山泉,有点田。4、好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 给我一个枕头,我就能睡上一个世纪。 时间:2017-07-11

        1、[别跟我虚伪,我懒得敷衍]2、你长的好象车祸现场3、大学就是大概学学!4、过了明天,就要结束八天的课啊,星期六一定要睡个够,就算着火了,也决不起来5、你这张脸可成了全球驰名品牌商标了啊!最丑的都没你丑。......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 没想活着,就是想死的离家近一点。 时间:2017-07-10

        1、哪个没心没肺的人,没有一段为某人掏心掏肺的曾经2、带女友去游乐场坐过山车,别人的女友:啊~啊~好恐怖啊!我的女友:哎呦卧槽,哎呦卧槽!3、你行你拿我拿就拿稳妥;4、一见钟情,钟的不是情,是脸。。。5、[明天......

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      • [ 搞笑说说 ] 我恋恋不忘的,他忘了, 时间:2017-07-09

        1、有空学风水去,死后占个好墓也算弥补了生前买不起好房的遗憾。 2、每次写简历都会比以前更敬佩自己一些。3、七分靠打拼。4、你有什么不开心的事?说出来让大家开心一下.5、哥不是冰红茶没有再来1瓶得机会~......

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